george cantstandya :)
COWS ARE TOO CUTE TO HANDLE
Meanwhile, in prehistoric Canada…..
No no, you don’t understand, moose really do get that big. Take it from a Canadian. I’ve seen that bullshit in person. Scary as all heck.
And that’s how people can die if they hit a moose. Seriously, one of our fears when driving in the country is having to deal with this scenario of a moose jumping out in front of the car.
moose are actual legit ice age megafauna; theyve been here since the ice age, they are old as fuck. they also are pretty terrifying and ive echoed this before but i went to wiki and “In terms of raw numbers, they attack more people than bears and wolves combined” and “ In the Americas, moose injure more people than any other wild mammal and, worldwide, only hippopotamuses injure more.”
like, fuck off with that
I was dog sitting a dog once who insisted she had to go out in the middle of the night it was an emergency, so I took her out. Suddenly she starts pointing and barking and I look up and can just make out the outline of a HUGE moose. I’ve been accidentally face to face with a black bear and that scared me less than being up close with a moose. I’m 5 foot so imagine staring up at an animal several feet taller than you that is debating charging the dog who’s leash you are holding. I was terrified as I grabbed the dog by her collar to get better control over her and backed up slowly til I was out of line of sight and bolted for the house at a dead run. Did you know most Canadian lake monster stories come from people seeing moose swimming? They are massive animals.
They are massive and they charge. I get so scared when tourists are all “oh yeah, we got out of the car to get a closer look and, ya’ll have some mighty impressive animals around here.”
Yes, yes we do, and they have mighty tired guardian angels because moose can, and do, charge at people.
I’ve always said that moose hunting season is the one time of the year we’re allowed to fight back.
Someone my mom worked with died hitting a moose on the highway. Their eyes don’t reflect light. In the dark they are literally nothing but a big slightly darker shape in the night.
Roughly every year in the town I grew up in, a cow (moose) and her calf will wander through downtown. Maybe once or twice. If she’s aggressive enough, the local Mounties will escort her through to keep idiots away.
… CANADA. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!
We’re fine… We keep them around as natural weapons
Their eyes don’t reflect light?! They’re soulless jesus christ
when you see a deer on the road it is less dangerous to just hit it, dont try to swerve out of the way but when you see a moose DO NOT HIT IT you will be safer if you swerve off the road like literally their antlers have decapitated people who hit them
Grimes by Holly Andres for The New York Times
Infused in the white bead is water from Mount Everest, the highest point on earth. In the black bead, mud from the Dead Sea, the lowest point on earth. Separating the two beads are clear beads, representative of the story we all have to tell. Life moves through cycles, find your balance.
"Sometimes you’re on top of the world, stay humble. Sometimes you’ve hit a low, stay hopeful.”
DO YOU GUYS HAVE THAT ONE FRIEND THAT DOESN’T THINK SHE’S ANYTHING SPECIAL BUT SHE’S BEAUTIFUL AND FUNNY AND WITTY AND EVERYTHING AMAZING THAT YOU COULD EVER WANT IN A PERSON BUT SHE DOESN’T SEE IT AND YOU JUST WANNA TAKE HER AND SHAKE HER AND SCREAM IN HER FACE ALL OF THE AMAZING THINGS ABOUT HER JUST SO SHE WILL APPRECIATE HOW ABSOLUTELY LOVELY SHE IS
someone could be thinking this about you right now you never know
- push yourself to get up before the rest of the world - start with 7am, then 6am, then 5:30am. go to the nearest hill with a big coat and a scarf and watch the sun rise.
2. push yourself to fall asleep earlier - start with 11pm, then 10pm, then 9pm. wake up in the morning feeling re-energized and comfortable.
3. erase processed food from your diet. start with no lollies, chips, biscuits, then erase pasta, rice, cereal, then bread. use the rule that if a child couldn’t identify what was in it, you don’t eat it.
4. get into the habit of cooking yourself a beautiful breakfast. fry tomatoes and mushrooms in real butter and garlic, fry an egg, slice up a fresh avocado and squirt way too much lemon on it. sit and eat it and do nothing else.
5. stretch. start by reaching for the sky as hard as you can, then trying to touch your toes. roll your head. stretch your fingers. stretch everything.
6. buy a 1L water bottle. start with pushing yourself to drink the whole thing in a day, then try drinking it twice.
7. buy a beautiful diary and a beautiful black pen. write down everything you do, including dinner dates, appointments, assignments, coffees, what you need to do that day. no detail is too small.
8. strip your bed of your sheets and empty your underwear draw into the washing machine. put a massive scoop of scented fabric softener in there and wash. make your bed in full.
9. organise your room. fold all your clothes (and bag what you don’t want), clean your mirror, your laptop, vacuum the floor. light a beautiful candle.
10. have a luxurious shower with your favourite music playing. wash your hair, scrub your body, brush your teeth. lather your whole body in moisturiser, get familiar with the part between your toes, your inner thighs, the back of your neck.
11. push yourself to go for a walk. take your headphones, go to the beach and walk. smile at strangers walking the other way and be surprised how many smile back. bring your dog and observe the dog’s behaviour. realise you can learn from your dog.
12. message old friends with personal jokes. reminisce. suggest a catch up soon, even if you don’t follow through. push yourself to follow through.
14. think long and hard about what interests you. crime? sex? boarding school? long-forgotten romance etiquette? find a book about it and read it. there is a book about literally everything.
15. become the person you would ideally fall in love with. let cars merge into your lane when driving. pay double for parking tickets and leave a second one in the machine. stick your tongue out at babies. compliment people on their cute clothes. challenge yourself to not ridicule anyone for a whole day. then two. then a week. walk with a straight posture. look people in the eye. ask people about their story. talk to acquaintances so they become friends.
16. lie in the sunshine. daydream about the life you would lead if failure wasn’t a thing. open your eyes. take small steps to make it happen for you.
Sixteen Small Steps to Happiness (via acceptvnce)
This is wonderful
Need to do this
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